for so long, ive been in a gloomy trance. i saw my life as the redundant cycle it is: minimal hours of sleep, school, work, little to no sleep, school, work and so on and so forth. the lady i was born like a sister to this world re-watered the idea that life is fucked up because you never know what its going to throw at you. (that lady also happens to be assed out on the couch parallel to the one im on, looking right at me!) she went on to say shit ive thought for so long but just recently dumped/forgot because of how much i am in bliss with something i always swore was 100% intangible.
we started talking about how life is so sickening and how people who go to extremes with ANY one aspect are on a narrow, blindsided road to self-destruction. life is sickening because it is composed of living to work to make money to live. basically, humans live to work to make money to live... to just work... to make money.. to live. i feel like there is THAT much more to life that cherie is periodically feeling shuttered from.

all because of joe, i wake up either next to him or pleasantly overwhelmed in thoughts of him. if i'm not thinking about how the last time i saw him was surreal-ly pleasurable, i'm thinking about calling him or texting jess, natalie and/or cherie about how wonderful i've been feeling all because of him. i almost feel reborn when in thoughts and in the presence of this man. i never ever thought i'd find someone i am so compatibly comfortable with on every single fucking important level. i cant begin to wrap my head around the world i'm sharing and floating in with him. there is nothing i want more than to stay in this world, while we both watch and assist each other in growing. ugh, i am already feeling the need for him to always be in my life.

i cant cant cant wait to see him nexxxtttttt.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: "angry little asian girl" on channel 13